You are so money, honey!

It’s May, a month traditionally associated with humpin’ and bumpin’ and all kinds of naughtiness. So today we’re going to talk about sex. And I am going to tell you a secret.

Economics is the sexiest and most romantic of professions.

Consider, if you will, Russ Roberts, who has written an economic romance novel, The Invisible Heart; Pete Leeson, who (in a grand gesture that will have all other economists cursing him for decades to come as they try and fail to surpass the awesomeness) proposed to his girlfriend in the dedication of his book The Invisible Hook; Tyler Cowen, who has calculated the optimal number of times to say “I love you,” and whose book Discover Your Inner Economist promises to teach you to use incentives to find love.

Consider Christopher Marlowe, Renaissance Badass and Poet, probably a spy, definitely killed in a tavern brawl.

Dreamy. And totally in favor of currency circulation.

In Marlowe’s steamy poem “Hero and Leander”  Leander seduces Hero by reminding her that:

What difference betwixt the richest mine
And basest mould, but use? For both, not used,
Are of like worth. Then treasure is abused
When misers keep it; being put to loan,
In time it will return us two for one.

In other words, “Baby, don’t say no! Your beauty and chastity are only good if you let them circulate.

That, my friends, is OLD SCHOOL.

How could anyone not want that kind of steamy romance? Ah…but how to get it? That is always the question. We can’t all be Marlowe, after all. Fortunately, I am here to help.

Now, I am already happily married to a guy who does civil engineering drafting and design for a living. That means that, in order to ensnare him, all I had to do was stun him into silence with my startlingly unexpected mastery of the relationships among sines, cosines, and tangents. It also means that I can offer my readers the following out of pure altruism. Someone’s got to use this stuff.

So, for all of you who may be seeking a smokin’ hot economist of your own, I present:

The Top Ten Lines for Hitting on an Economist

1. You’ve got the curves to supply my demand!

2. Let’s go to bed and try to disprove the law of diminishing marginal utility.

3. You’re my very favorite kind of moral hazard.

4. I have a feeling you really understand the “nature of the firm.”

5. Baby, I love you so much I’m willing to forgo my exit option.

6. Wanna talk about our private goods?

7. You’re an economist. I’m an economist. How about a little horizontal integration?

8. Now those are some tangible assets!

9. I’ll reveal my preferences if you will.

And the very best pick up line to catch your own economist, as well as the filthiest thing ever said in public by an economist (and I include various jokes I’ve heard at cocktail parties) is brought to us by the dynamic duo of Roberts and Papola, and comes straight from their new Hayek/Keynes rap video.

10. Bottom up or top down?

 

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14 Comments

  1. Troy Camplin
    May 11, 2011

    Mentioned you over on my blog Austrian Economics and Literature. Pretty cute stuff.

  2. SarahS
    May 11, 2011

    Thanks so much, Troy!

  3. Steve Horwitz
    May 12, 2011

    Damn, I need a cigarette now. I don’t know if I’ll be able to control myself when I see you next week!

    You forgot: “Hey baby, let’s make our utility functions interdependent!”

    Finally, the female orgasm DOES disprove the law of diminishing marginal utility. :)

  4. stickman
    May 12, 2011

    And those with failed pick-lines can always resort to the invisible hand…

  5. SarahS
    May 12, 2011

    LOLz, Steve and stickman!

  6. david
    May 12, 2011

    More:

    Care to help me violate some social norms? find my bliss point? engage in some “constrained” optimization? reduce entry barriers?

    Baby, you’re the gold standard!

  7. SarahS
    May 12, 2011

    Baby, you’re the gold standard!

    By which you mean….something you’re unlikely to get? *grin*

  8. david
    May 12, 2011

    No… something that’s natural and inevitable. :)

  9. Tristan
    May 12, 2011

    You make my demand curve perfectly inelastic.

  10. Midori
    May 12, 2011

    My husband nicknamed me “stimulus package” which stuck around for a while…much to our friends and my amusement.

  11. Josh D.
    May 12, 2011

    Your invasive activity causes me no negative externalities.

  12. Danny
    May 12, 2011

    There’s gotta be something to be done with “mutual adjustment”…

  13. Wilt
    May 12, 2011

    Someone posted a hilarious (but dirty) one in here:
    http://mises.org/Community/forums/t/24598.aspx

    “If you go down on my factor of production I’ll churn out a consumption good. “

  14. TheMichaelOnline
    May 13, 2011

    “You are so money, honey!”

    Oh? So, what will this opportunity cost me?

    …Sorry…

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